Watch enough movies and you learn pretty fast that they aren't about reality, they're about entertaining us. Which sometimes makes the world of the biopic a little tricky, because not only do you have to work in the truth, but you still have to keep those butts in the seats -- and the results are not always good. Over at Moviefone they've compiled some of the worst movie biopics, and no one was safe -- with films earning a spot for mixing up their facts, ridiculous casting, or just downright lazy filmmaking.

So who made the list? Well, you've got your usual suspects like Oliver Stone's Alexander, a film that has so much wrong with it I don't know where to put the blame (oh, that's right, on everyone). Other films that made the cut for the less than flattering title of 'Real Life Catastrophes' were Kevin Spacey's Bobby Darin flick, Beyond The Sea, Luc Besson's The Messenger, and Alan Parker's Evita. But don't think the classics made it out unscathed either, because both Captain Eddie and The Babe Ruth Story also earned a mention.

As a genre, I love biopics -- especially the bad ones. I've watched everything from made-for-TV movies on The Beach Boys to high art flicks like I'm Not There. So no matter what kind of biopic it might be, I will usually give it a chance. Over the years, I've seen movies that bend the truth and those that just mess it up entirely, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them. Besides, if you're looking for unadulterated facts, you should probably head to the library and not the multiplex.

After the jump: five of my favorite movie biopics...

The upcoming The Danish Girl is one of those independent, edgy films that has all the right elements for something brilliant, but it's subject matter is so tricky that it could end up becoming a farce. Based on David Ebershoff's novel, The Danish Girl is the story of the world's first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. Tomas Alfredson is set to direct, Nicole Kidman has long been attached to play Einar, and Variety reports that Gwyneth Paltrow has stepped in to play Greta. She's stepping in for Charlize Theron, who originally held the role, but has dropped out for unspecified reasons.

The story takes place in 1920s Denmark. Greta* was a portrait painter, and needed a model. She asked Einar to step into a dress, stockings, and heels, and created some kind of awakening in Einar. In women's clothes, her husband became an outrageous character named Lili. The paintings of Lili became extremely popular, few realizing a man had stood in for them. Lili than took on a public life of her own, and Greta often introduced Lili as her sister. Eventually, Einar / Lili decided to commit to gender reassignment surgery, a dangerous and experimental procedure at the time. Greta stood beside her husband until his transformation was complete, and then their marriage was declared null and void by the King of Denmark.

Ashley Greene's cinematic path hasn't been gradual. It all started with a couple one-ep stints on a few shows, a gig on a quickly vaporized show called Desire, time as a McDonald's customer in King of California, an uncredited moment on Shark, and playing Kim #4 in Otis. Then everything changed. She put on the superstylish clothes, added a pixie hop to her step, and starting divining the future on the Twilight series. Now she's got a handful of movies under her belt, and is circling her next starring gig.

Risky Biz Blog reports that Greene is looking into the ghostly side of supernatural life. The actress is in talks to star in The Apparition, Dark Castle's latest supernatural horror that will, most likely, wrench her out of sparkles and overprotective families. Written and to be directed by Todd Lincoln, the story focuses on a couple in college who are haunted by a "supernatural presence" they let out during a college experiment.

Supposedly, this is inspired by true events. Methinks true events in the same world where Blair Witch flies free, unless it isn't incantations that unleashes ghosts, but rather beakers of creepy substances. Or, they mean college experiment as in guy and girl make a witchy circle on their dorm floor and start doing spells all willy nilly. Whatever the case, the film hits production in February of next year.

The future Faceman may have lost the chance to fly as the Emerald Knight, but DC isn't the only place you can gain superpowers. You can also score them from top secret pharmaceuticals! (Don't try this at home, kids.) According to The Hollywood Reporter, Bradley Cooper is set to star in Dark Fields, a thriller directed by Neil Burger and based on the book by Alan Glynn.

Cooper will play a writer down on his luck who manages to get his poor paws on a secret drug that promises to make one smarter. He doesn't go ask Alice before popping them, and finds that it's a wonder drug. He enjoys writing success, wealth and women until the side effects kick in. They're long lasting, potentially lethal, and have the extra kick of making time appear as a stop-motion movie. As if that doesn't suck enough, mysterious and unpleasant men begin pursuing him. Do they look like Shia LaBeouf, who was originally set to star? Hopefully not.

The screenplay was penned by Leslie Dixon, and is said to be similar to Fight Club and The Game, which might be a big spoiler as to the nature of those mysterious antagonists, which is why you shouldn't think about it too much. There's no start date, but hopefully he has no time between The A-Team and Dark Fields to squish in another frightening romantic comedy.

Yogi Bear and Boo Boo are bringing sexy back -- and that image should make you ripe for nightmares tonight. If you doubt me, look to Variety, who reports that Dan Aykroyd, Anna Faris, and Justin Timberlake are set to go to Jellystone in Yogi Bear, which Eric Brevig is directing for Warner Bros.

Aykroyd will be voicing Yogi, and he really is the most obvious choice to play the picnic basket thief. He's funny, he sounds gruff, and if it was live-action it would be a very terrifying thing to see. So thank goodness this is being done as a CG / live-action hybrid.

Timberlake will be voicing Boo Boo. Yep. The man who wants to love your mother, put his d*ck in a box, and who will cry you a river will lend his vocal talents to playing Yogi's diminutive sidekick. In this update of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon, expect Boo Boo to be a lot more of a smart aleck. (I was going to say "sassy," but I think that would be a far different Boo Boo.)

Though Faris has done voice work before, it sounds as though she might be one of the live action elements to this unholy hybrid. Variety says she's set to play a documentary filmmaker. Presumably she discovers the tourist robbing bears, and makes a film of them. Or she has to help them preserve Jellystone against evil developers. Either way, she'll have to talk to big rubbery CG bears, and it might be kind of weird. What would be even weirder is if one or both bears fell in love with her, so let's hope she falls into the arms of whoever plays Ranger Smith. Shooting is expected to start in New Zealand next month.

When Warren Ellis' Red was first optioned, I wasn't particularly excited. As readers have pointed out, Ellis has many books that would be more exciting to see on the big screen. The initial casting of Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman didn't inspire a lot of excitement, either. (I love both, but Willis as an ex-assassin? Hardly inspired.) But as Robert Schwentke has filled out his cast, things have gotten a lot more interesting. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Mary-Louise Parker and John C. Reilly are in talks to join Red alongside Freeman, Willis, and Helen Mirren.

Reilly would play a retired CIA agent who is paranoid that everyone is out to kill him. Willis' predicament will naturally prove him right, and it's the frantic, nervous role that Reilly specializes in. Again, it's not the most inspired casting, but it's exciting to see Reilly finally land a comic book role. I like to see actors drawn into this world, even if it is in a more "standard" storyline.

Parker will play Willis' love interest, an ordinary employee of the federal pension office who becomes embroiled in his struggle to stay alive. As if relationships aren't hard enough, it's "Honey! My former employers are trying to kill me! Get your passport, we have to hide in Bruges." She is a talented actress, so I sincerely hope she gets a little more to do than run around and be frightened. Perhaps she can be trained in the arts of action by Mirren's character.

It's a really good cast so far, and there's undoubtedly more to come as Willis' opponents are lined up. This could be something a little more in the mold of A History of Violence, which would be a refreshing change from the flashy adaptation attempts like Wanted. Red is officially on my radar.

It's time to go back into the memory banks a little bit. Remember when Richard Kelly started Darko Entertainment back in September of 2007? The first movie slated to hit production was Dirty Girl, with this psychological thriller called The Box slated to be movie numero dos. Now we're about to see what Kelly has in store for us with his third film, and Dirty Girl vanished into the ether ... until now.

The Hollywood Reporter posts that the movie is still in the works -- now in the hands Ideal Partners, Killer Films, and Paris Film -- and has got its cast: Juno Temple, Sally Hawkins, William H. Macy, and Lisa Kudrow. Marking Abe Sylvia's feature directorial debut, the film focuses on "a high school tramp who runs away with the school's gay, fat kid in his homophobic dad's stolen car." Got all that? Variety chose to lighten the impact a bit by describing it as a film revolving around "a high school tramp who pairs up with a shy and overweight gay teen. Together, they set off to find her real father in California."

Temple is the lead as "dirty girl" Danielle, Hawkins is playing her "reformed slut" mother Sue-Ann, Macy is Sue-Ann's Mormon fiance, and Kudrow will play "Clarke's mousy repressed mother." Let's assume Clarke is the gay teen, and I'll go out on a limb and saying Jeremy Dozier is playing him. THR doesn't mention him at all, and Variety doesn't list his role, choosing to focus on the parental units.

Keep reading -- this ain't all of it, folks.

Sony's thriller The Tourist just keeps sending its talent packing. Originally set to be a vehicle for Tom Cruise and Charlize Theron, it shifted gears last month and was re-cast with Angelina Jolie and Sam Worthington. But once again, The Tourist finds itself without travel arrangements for a male lead as Variety reports that Worthington is out due to "creative disagreements" and Johnny Depp is in.

Depp is still in talks to play the hapless American tourist, and with the way this film is going, one can't assume it's finalized. But if it is, it might just be the casting coup of 2010. A Depp-Jolie pair-up has been something dreamed about by a lot of producers and studios over the years. Once upon a time, rumor even had them attached to play Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. People want to see them having onscreen sex. It'd be the hottest thing since ... well, Brad Pitt and Jolie having sex onscreen. (And off. Hey, I'm just being honest. There was a reason everyone wanted to see their offspring.)

The Tourist is also on the hunt for a director. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck was circling the project, but departed alongside Worthington over those whispery creative differences. Reportedly, a lot of directors are interested, including Alfonso Cuaron. While shake-ups can be be a sign of a bad film, I'd like to think that a thriller that winds up with Jolie, Depp, and Cuaron came together exactly as it was meant to.

Once upon a time here on Cinematical (actually, it was a mere year ago), I pondered whether you could ever be too attractive to be believable. I reasoned that it was a bit silly to argue that Angelina Jolie was too pretty to be the mother of a kidnapped child, because good looks doesn't equal good luck. But I might have to change my thesis for Patrick Dempsey. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Dempsey is teaming up with Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (aka "The Hangover Team") for an untitled bank heist comedy.

Dempsey will play an ordinary man who wanders into his bank branch for a deposit or a withdrawal, and winds up being caught in a robbery. Actually, it's not just one robbery but two occurring at the same bank and at the same time. (If this bank isn't in Gotham City and this stick-up isn't being overseen by the Joker, I'm disappointed already.) But the real kicker is that he is secretly in love with his bank teller, and was just getting up the guts to ask her out when the robberies happened. Now, he's forced to protect her and hope she'll say yes to dinner and a movie if they make it out alive.

Now, I know good looking guys can be shy. But this is like slapping thick glasses on Amanda Seyfried and expecting us to buy that she's unattractive. If he's a regular customer to that teller window, chances are she counts the minutes until he shows up with another deposit, and works frantically to maintain her lipstick in between. She's been hinting every time that she's single and looking. So unless Dempsey's character has been living in a cave (and maybe there's more twists and turns that he has) which has caused him to be socially inept, there's no excusing such awkwardness.

Once you've made emotional mincemeat out of legions of adoring young girls, what's next? How do you transcend tweendom and seduce the seas of adult women (Twilight moms not included)? Bedding Nicole Kidman is a start. Screen Daily reports that Robert Pattinson and Kidman have signed on to star in an adaptation of Guy De Maupassant's Bel Ami. Adapted by Rachel Bennette, the film will be directed by Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod.

Published in 1885, Bel Ami is an erotic tale of journalist Georges Duroy and how he sleeps his way to the top of Parisian high society. After a few years of military service in Algeria, Duroy works as a clerk in Paris until he becomes a journalist, aided by Mme Forestier (presumably Kidman). She helps write his first articles, he works his way up to chief editor, and she uses her political connections to get him the information he needs, which also leads him to his own network of increasing power. Bit by bit, he sleeps with influential women, using his loins to work his way to the top.

If you've seen Little Ashes, this is just wiping away the Dali quirks and throwing Pattinson into a Parisian life roughly 25 years earlier -- which wasn't quite the visual and social jump then as it is now. And while I wonder why Kidman so often gets cast opposite young males (at least this one's of age!), it's not hard to imagine a retro world of Parisian enticement with Pattinson and Kidman at the center of it.

Production begins this February in London and Budapest.

I have a major girl crush on Helen Mirren. I want to be her, and I simultaneously want her to take me under her wing, and turn me posh. Now she's set to make me geek out even more, because Screen Daily and The Hollywood Reporter report that she's just signed on to Red, Summit Entertainment's adaptation of Warren Ellis' bloody miniseries. Robert Schwentke is set to direct.

Mirren joins Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman in this cheerful tale of assassins. Willis plays black ops CIA Agent Paul Moses, who is enjoying the peace and quiet of retirement. But when there's a change of guard at the CIA, it's decided that Moses is too much of a liability. While Ellis' book pitted Moses against a single assassin, the movie will put Moses against a host of younger and more technologically adept opponents. It'll be the old school versus the new school -- and we all know who will probably win. I believe Freeman is playing the new CIA boss who decides Moses has seen and done too much to be anything but a liability, but nothing has been specified.

In her first comic book adaptation, Mirren will be playing an old associate of Willis, who has her own lethal set of skills. (Shades of Taken!) Don't be surprised if they're sexy skills. But you know what? It's Helen Mirren. If she wants to use her looks in order to dispatch a dictator or arms dealer, she can. Filming is set to kick off in January, and I count the days until I can see Mirren actually kick some ass onscreen.

When the comedy gods close a door, they open a window. Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. said no to co-hosting next year's Academy Awards, and we barely had time to grieve for what might have been before we received this news: Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin have said yes. It's official, as detailed in a press release from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Martin has hosted the Oscars twice before, in 2000 and 2002, and he happens to be my personal favorite host. In fact, he's one of my personal favorite entertainers, period. The man is a straight-up genius, the terrible movies he's made in the last decade notwithstanding. Baldwin was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for The Cooler, so he at least knows his way to the theater, and he's currently enjoying a resurgence in popularity thanks to his top-notch work on TV's 30 Rock.

Martin and Baldwin have worked together several times thanks to their longstanding affiliation with Saturday Night Live. Martin has hosted 15 times -- more than anyone else -- and Baldwin is right behind him at 14. In 2006, Baldwin showed up on a Martin episode, followed a few months later by Martin crashing a Baldwin show, both times with Martin trying to kill Baldwin to prevent him from overtaking his hosting record. (In the Oscar press release, Martin says, "I am happy to co-host the Oscars with my enemy Alec Baldwin.") Martin guested on an episode of 30 Rock, and both actors will appear in It's Complicated this Christmas.

I think both of these men, separately and together, are hilarious, so I'm excited about the Oscars (to be held March 7, 2010). What do you think?

Sorry, folks -- while it may have been a few months since we learned about that dreaded Marmaduke project, it hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, the sucker has found its lead voice. The Hollywood Reporter posts that Owen Wilson has agreed to voice the infamous Great Dane in the Fox adaptation.

While the details weren't ironed out initially, the project is now set to be a live-action/CG mix "which has shades of Fox's surprise smash Marley & Me" -- focusing on the Winslow family as they movie from Kansas to Orange County with their slobbering dog. But no, it's not as simple as a travel/fish out of water story. The dog will "navigate a volatile Mutts vs. Pedigrees turf war, woo the purebred of his dreams, and overcome a fall from grace." And here I thought the simple idea of a Marmaduke feature film was vomit-inducing enough. And while I have no interest in the tear-jerking Marley story, I'm pretty sure it's not a CG flick with doggie turf wars that will undoubtedly be rife with ridiculous stereotypes.

I wonder why Wilson would take this on, and possibly label himself as the dog guy, but it looks like he's not the only one drinking the spiked water. The humans will be played by Judy Greer, Lee Pace, and William H. Macy, while Marlon and Damon Wayons, Steve Coogan, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, George Lopez, Emma Stone, and Fergie voice the pups and other CG concoctions. Yeah, sure, actors sometimes need money and take on things for the paycheck, but this just takes it to a whole new level. And does Wilson need the cash? Between Marley and the Smithsonian, and some Fockers on the way, it's not like the dude is in a drought.

While he's one of the main men of superstardom, George Clooney also keeps one foot firmly in the world of quirk and strangeness. He may be Mr. Ocean, but he's also the dude who was in Return of the Killer Tomatoes and The Men Who Stare at Goats. Clooney knows how to be ridiculous, and now he's jumping into a whole new world of quirk.

Variety reports that the actor is in talks to star in the new Alexander Payne dramedy The Descendants. His first feature since Sideways, the film got cooking back in August and follows a rich landowner and father who decides to grab his two hard-to-handle daughters and search for his wife's lover in an attempt to keep his family together -- while she's in a coma after a catamaran accident. ...I still can't fathom the logic behind this one.

This is definitely one of those it's about time! collaborations. Clooney has skirted around the world of Payne with the likes of David O. Russell and Grant Heslov, while Payne grabbed the likes of Matthew Broderick and Paul Giamatti. It's surprising that this didn't come sooner. While Payne's I want to be a little person story still sounds a touch more tantalizing, it's hard to resist the idea of George getting into the mind that brought us Election and Sideways. But the real magic will depend on who gets cast alongside him...

Not too long ago, Katie Holmes was the one getting ousted. After romancing Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, she was set aside so Maggie Gyllenhaal could whip up a much more spot-on Rachel Dawes. Now it's her time to take over a role. It might not be part of a well-established franchise, but Variety reports that Holmes will be replacing Liv Tyler in the romantic comedy The Romantics.

As I wrote when Tyler signed on for the project, this film sees Galt Niederhoffer adapting and directing from her own novel, which focuses on a group of college friends who reunite after 6 years for a wedding. The event brings up a rivalry between the groom, the bride, and her maid of honor. Anna Paquin is playing the bride, Josh Duhamel is the groom, and Holmes is stepping in as maid of honor. (Other cast include Malin Akerman, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody, and Jeremy Strong.)

Since its "thin stereotypes" seem to trump the Big Chill feel to the plot, this could very possibly mark another not-so-good turn for the actress. After her 3-year hiatus post-bats and Smoking, Holmes decided Mad Money was the way to go, and we all know that was a crappy choice. But she seems to really like this gig -- Holmes is not only co-starring, she's also executive producing (her first time). Yet, for someone trying to find her place in her adult career, I'm surprised she isn't finding more on the gritty or less mainstreamish end of the indie world. The comedies with recognizable names -- they never seem to do her well. But the drama and dramedy ... ice storms, nights with drug dealers, gifts, singing detectives, Thanksgiving dinners, and smoking are the times she's gotten a solid reception. Will this project get included on the above list? I'm not holding my breath.